alone
by alysssssa
Summary: serefina grew up with abusive parents. her life was always terrible. but one day, serefina gets the opportunity of a lifetime. to take the twelfth pilgrimage to terra nova, which is the final one ever. but when she gets to terra nova, things aren't as hoped. she's alone, no family, friends, no place to live… but then pregnancy and suicide trap her. will she ever find a family?


**alone. terra nova**

 **summary.** fourteen year old serefina grew up with abusive parents. her life was always terrible. but one day, serefina gets the opportunity of a lifetime. to take the twelfth pilgrimage to terra nova, which is the final one ever. but when she gets to terra nova, things aren't as hoped. she's alone, no family, friends, no place to live… and as well of all of that, a lifetime of beatings, abuse, rape, depression, self harm has made things even harder for serefina in terra nova, especially when pregnancy and suicide takes over her mind.

 **author's note.** before you read this book i would like to put forward this disclaimer; this book explores things like self harm, suicide, rape, abuse and many other things. i've experienced most of these so i write about them a lot to get things off my chest. if you feel offended by this book at all, please review and you can explain why it hurt you in some why and i will personally try and make the story better. lowercase is also intended. i won't be updating as often as i want to because i have highschool and everything and highschool truly sucks and i hate it. true though. hope you enjoy this book. leave a review! thus

 **alyssa xo**

 **chapter one. futuristic**

 **...**

i heard them arguing, no surprise there. i tried to block it. i rocked back in forth, my head snuggled in between my knees. i panicked, yet again. when they got angry, they got extremely abusive. i heard more fighting and i tucked myself tighter in the corner. i watched from a distance as there faces were going bright red as they screamed at each other. i whimpered in the corner and watched as dad slapped mum. my chest rose up and down quickly and my breathing started hitching. i needed to go the bathroom. now. i stood up and my parents turned their heads towards me. the room was silent. silence. i hadn't had that much of that world called silence, the world was always screaming at me and so were my parents. dad came over, his breath ridden with alcohol, it stunk. i held my breath as he came closer to me. his hand swung in the air and connected with my face. my eyes stung with tears and i rubbed my cheek. i wiped my tears away and ran towards the bathroom. i locked the door and sat on the ground crying. i didn't want to live on this earth anymore.

i slowly opened the drawer. there they where, they hadn't been moved. five shiny razor blades were sitting there. they called me. i watched as i picked up the blade in my hand and a tear slowly dripped down my cheeks. i brought the blade down on my wrist and traced it across. a red mark showed up and blood appeared. the blood trickled down my wrist and dripped onto the floor. i cried and bought the blade down again. i didn't know if i would stop…

 **...**

a knock on the door woke me. i rubbed my eyes and clambered out of bed. i looked over at my clock. it was seven o' clock in the morning. i swung my legs around off the bed and stood up. i walked over to the door and groggily opened it. a man was standing there, he was in uniform. "hello?" i asked. he just glared at me.

"are your parents home?" he asked. i nodded my head. they came right on queue, mum and dad appeared out of nowhere. mum came over to me and she put her hands on my shoulders. i bit my lip.

"has my daughter done something wrong?" mum asked. she then looked down at me. "whatever it is, we support you baby." she said. i rolled my eyes. they were playing the innocent parent act.

"most of the children living in 2149 have been given a chance to go to terra nova. we were wondering if your child wanted to go on the twelfth pilgrimage. it leaves tomorrow at three. be there or miss out. ok?" the man said. then he left. my eyes widened. i could leave this shit hole and go to terra nova. my parents just smirked.

"you really think you're going? think again." my dad said. my heart sunk and i wanted to scream. i had the chance to leave and yet, i couldn't. this was hell.

"why not?" i asked. they both laughed and dad smacked me in the face.

"you don't deserve shit you little whore. i suggest you buck up your attitude." my mum said. i just walked away, into the bathroom. i walked to my blade. at that very moment, i was seriously contemplating suicide.

 **...**

i slinked out of the bathroom two hours later. my wrists and thighs stung like hell. i cut deep this time, really deep. i held a cloth to my wrists and jumped onto my bed. my parents came over and i pulled the duvet over myself. dad just looked at me. he smirked and disappeared. my mum didn't say anything, she only said things that she thought were necessary and would hurt me the most. "where have you been all morning?" she asked.

"no where." i said. "i was inside the whole time." i wasn't technically lying, i was inside the house in the whole time. she then did something unexpected, she ripped the duvet right off me and my wrists were clear in view. i covered up my thighs with my old three quarter tights. my wrists were another situation though. i had forgot to bring a jersey in the bathroom so i was just going to wait until mum and dad went outside to collect this weeks food supply. but obviously that wasn't happening. she just looked at my wrists, she didn't take her eyes off them. i tried to cover them but she harshly grabbed my wrists and pulled them up so she could see them. i cringed as she put pressure on my fresh cuts.

"what the fuck is this?" she asked. i didn't answer. she slapped me in the face. "tell me!"

"i hit my wrists!" i yelled back. she was taken aback.

"bullshit. hitting your wrists and making perfect lines?"

"why do you care? you don't care about me anyway!" i yelled. i regretted saying it straight away.

"is that backchat i hear?" she asked. my breathing all of sudden fastened and my face went bright red.

"no…" i answered.

"that's backchat right now!" she yelled. i wanted to scream inside. why couldn't i have told her the truth? i was stupid and she wouldn't care. she would think i was insane and throw me out to the streets. i wouldn't mind being on the streets though… it's better than here of course. "i'm going to get your father, right now!" she said. i was fucked. really fucked. "babe!" she called. dad came back into the room. he came over and took one glance at my wrists.

"what the fuck is this?" he said. mum dropped my wrists and i desperately tried to them. he roughly grabbed them and i nearly cried. his nails were digging into the cuts and i swear i nearly screamed. i kept my mouth shut and tears started forming from my eyes. i wanted to scream. but instead, i tried to act as if i didn't care. dad just smirked. he dropped my wrists and they landed with a thump on my thighs. he grabbed my waist and he picked me up. i struggled against his grip but he was so much stronger than me. i wasn't very strong, partly because i barely eat. i look anorexic. i want to eat though, that's the case. but they don't feed me, maybe a slice of bread a week, if i'm lucky, i'll get two. it never filled me up though.

he carried me away to his bedroom and i knew this was going to be a painfully long day. he yanked my pants off i was scared. i thought he was going to see my thighs but i guess he didn't notice because he went straight to the part that hated, and before i knew it, i was stone cold naked and screaming with pain.

 **...**

my body was stiff and i couldn't move, my body was immobile. not moving at all. i could hear my father's steady breathing beside and my breathing hitched. he was sleeping right there. i lifted my head a little and caught a glimpse of my mum sleeping next to him. i turned my head around to the dresser table. it was two thirty. the pilgrimage. it leaves at three. i panicked. i slowly rose up and slinked out of the bed. my feet froze as the freezing ground touched them. it sent a shiver up my spine. i tip toed out and into my room. i grabbed my backpack and shoved all my clothes in. two shirts and three pairs of pants. i grabbed my socks and quickly chucked my sneakers on. i grabbed my i.d off the bench and then i scurried over to the bathroom and grabbed my hair ties, hairbrush, toothbrush and my blades. my blades were important. who knew what kind of challenges i could face in terra nova. who knew what i would have to go through? the sacrifices i would have to take not to mention i would have no where to stay. no family is coming with me so i was alone.

i gave a quick glance at the time. it was twenty to three. i had to go. now. i opened the door and stepped outside. the air was putrid. i didn't have a rebreather, i was never given one. "oi!" someone yelled. i turned around and saw my dad. my pulse went extremely fast. i turned back around and sprinted away. we were on the third floor on our apartment building. i sprinted down to the stairwell and ran down the stairs as fast as i could. the air was toxic. i constantly coughed. i reached the end of the stairs and i ran towards the exit door. i could hear dad's thundering footsteps chasing after me. i opened the door and sprinted outside. the air hit my face like a bomb. i hadn't been outside for over a year. my body couldn't cope with the air.

i stopped for a moment and bent down putting my hands on my knees. i coughed and watched from the corner of my eye as the apartment door swung open and revealed an angry looking dad. i glared at him and ran. ran as fast as i could.

 **...**

i looked back. i couldn't see him. he must've lost me in the crowds. hundreds of children surrounded me. this was the last pilgrimage and the council wanted to give us a second chance and the people from terra nova told the council to bring children so here we are.

i was lost. my ears were numb from the crying children and adults. "excuse me?" i tapped back into the zone. a woman was sitting there with a scanner in her hand looking impatiently at me.

"what?" i asked her, i was down right confused.

"i.d please." she said. i nodded and grabbed my i.d from my pocket. i held it close to my eyes and she scanned it. "your free to go." she said again. i thanked her a continued walking. this was it. the final leg. further up, the thing i never thought i'd see was just a few hundred metres away. the portal to terra nova. it shone brightly and i watched as people passed through. the just walked through the light and disappeared. my heart was thumping inside my ears and i watched as a small toddler passed through clinging to it's older sibling. most of the children here have family over in terra nova, i don't.

at the apartment, there was an orphanage a couple blocks down and i desperately tried to get my parents to just leave me there but they never did anything nice for me. i think the closet thing to nice the've done for me would have to be the fact that they haven't beaten me to death. i would've minded though. i want to die. i hate it here. i really do and i doubt terra nova will be much different. i'll still have no one who cares about me or no one who actually is going to ask how i feel. not once in my whole life has someone asked if i was okay. not once, probably never.

 **...**

lights blinded my eyes as i neared the portal. this was my moment. the moment were i escape all the horror in my life and start fresh. i hadn't heard much about terra nova before but i hear the air is fresh, the clouds are white and the homes and good, there's food for everyone. i've seen pictures, it looks so amazing over there. it looks like a dream, a dream that i never thought i'd have.

the portal was just in a metre's reach and i stood at the front of the line. my chest rising up and down. this was my moment. my moment to change everything. i was going to be free from this rotting place. 2149 was dying, soon everyone left would die to. "ma'm." someone said. i glanced to my left. the guard waiting beside the portal was watching me cautiously. "it's your turn." i nodded and a small smile spread across my face. i would never have to return here ever again. i was free to leave forever and that was making me so happy. i didn't have much, but at this moment, i was the luckiest person alive. i stepped forward and proceeded forward.

three steps.

two steps.

one steps.

zero.

 **...**

 **note.** frankly i know this chapter sucks and is really short but cut me some slack! this is my first ever chapter on !

 **word count. 2,128**


End file.
